Staying in Control

I have recently been reading some inflammatory posts on Facebook about a company I work with. Some of the posts have a kernel of truth and to the extent they do, I have no concerns, fair and constructive criticism is to be encouraged and listened to.

What (briefly) riled me was some comments from someone who had decided to hide under a pseudonym. For a moment I was disappointed and annoyed with that person’s childish, self-serving and immature behavior, but then I realized they were drawing me into their game – and I would have to play by their rules.  I decided to stop, seethe (for a moment, because it does no good to fail to acknowledge feelings), then let it go.

Don’t Play Their Game, Play Yours

Some of you may think this is the wrong course of action, but I am reminded of the saying:

When you fight with a pig, you both get dirty – but the pig likes it

My best course of action was steer clear of the sty and direct my energy to more constructive pursuits aimed at achieving my goals.

The lesson for me was that to the extent a person holds your mind, they have control over you. They have this control only because YOU let them – at which point, they have control over you.

Sometimes the greatest act of courage, is the ability to stay true to yourself.

Steps to Get Back in Control

How do you regain control?

• Review and refresh yourself by looking at your objectives
• Acknowledge that this person’s or these people’s opinions exist (denial gives licence to fear and anger) and decide how you will respond. Try to distinguish emotional from logical reactions.
• Refer to your goals and objectives, if responded means distraction then: Ask yourself is it worth. Ask yourself five times. By the fifth time you should have the final answer.
• Ask yourself why they are doing it. Remember some people will antagonize you so that you will be distracted. If you respond as they expect, they have control of the situation.
• Try to leave your ego at the door.
• Redirect the energy: exercise (go for a walk, run – just get the emotion out of your system), use it to progress your goals

Many opinions and criticisms are constructive and should be listened to and taken on board. We need to accept we don’t get it right every time, and we are not perfect.

Just beware that sometimes people will bait you and the best response is no response at all.

If in the end, it is revenge or retaliation your want – remember the best revenge is to succeed at your endeavors.

PS no pigs were harmed, and hopefully none offended in the preparation of this article.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Horoscopes for Thursday, October 29 (thestar.com)

Tagged as: Anger, control, Energy, Revenge